Consensual non-monogamy is a nuanced concept that involves more than just being open to sexual exploration while in a committed relationship. It encompasses various types of relationships, some of which are illustrated in the graphic below. To establish a successful and fulfilling relationship that aligns with your values and desires, it is crucial to have open and honest conversations with your partner(s) about the type of non-monogamy that resonates with you, as well as the necessary boundaries and agreements that accompany it.
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Attachment
Do we have one Single Attachment Style or does our Attachment vary across Relationships ?
Modern mainstream media like Insta posts and TikToks have shown most of us that there are four main attachment "styles": Secure attachment (your parent met your needs quite consistently), anxious ambivalent attachment (your caregiver was inconsistent, had a hard time respecting your boundaries as well as difficulties to let you explore independently), avoidant attachment (there was a lack of responsiveness to your emotional needs and discouragement of emotional expression and dependency), and disorganized attachment (your primary attachment figures when you were a kid exhibited inconsistent, contradictory, and perhaps even violent behaviors).
While those are categories that help us get an idea of our primary attachment strategy or tendency, we need to keep in mind that our attachment styles vary across relationships. We may be securely attached to some people, have avoidant tendencies with others, and be completely anxious-ambivalent in yet other relationships. Attachment strategies also depend on several relationship and contextual factors including the attachment strategy of the person you are relating to and your experience of privilege or marginalization in the society and the world. Your general feeling of safety contributes to how safely you can attach to and explore relationships with others.
While those are categories that help us get an idea of our primary attachment strategy or tendency, we need to keep in mind that our attachment styles vary across relationships. We may be securely attached to some people, have avoidant tendencies with others, and be completely anxious-ambivalent in yet other relationships. Attachment strategies also depend on several relationship and contextual factors including the attachment strategy of the person you are relating to and your experience of privilege or marginalization in the society and the world. Your general feeling of safety contributes to how safely you can attach to and explore relationships with others.
If you are curious about your attachment tendency in a certain relationship, here's a quiz:
Radical Monogamy
Instagram Accounts for
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Multiamory Podcast on SpotifyShrimpteeth's Collection of Books on Polyamory, Sex, and Queerness:
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